Not being able to write is exasperating.

There is a chair. It is shaped like a bowl, and I am curled up in it. There are no lights on in my house. The only thing in my favor at this moment is that my new haircut is much more "writerly" than my old one. Exasperating is not the right word. It is as a result of my recent inability to write that the correct word escapes me. When I was little and I got angry, I used to grit my teeth so hard that they'd hurt afterwards. When my kids at camp try to tell me they can't control their tempers, I staunchly reply that if I can hold my temper, they can hold theirs. I have a temper that flares up rarely, suddenly, and for very short periods of time. Exasperating is not the right word because not being able to write is making me want to swear. Not being able to write is making me want to grit my teeth till they break in half. And this not being able to write has lasted far, far too long. It makes me begin to doubt that I'm even headed in the right direction. And if this is how this dream is going to be taken away from me, if it's going to be broken and empty like this, then I'm angry.